):
all of a sudden this big big rock just places itself onto my heart, weighing it down. all of a sudden i feel so damn sad, so damn tired, it's like i cant go on anymore. god, this feeling sucks. it hurts, everything hurts like some bloody fuck. feels hopeless. i hate this feeling. why isnt anybody feeling this way but me? it's not fair. everybody's happy and contented. im sad. it's hard to force a smile. i dont want this, it hurts. i'd do anything not to feel this way again. all the drafts, addressed, unsent in my email. the way i felt when i lost your messages. everyday makes me feel bitter. i cant drag myself away. it's like some nightmare in sick fantasies.
):
I didn't cry the day you moved away
Didn't think that I would feel this pain
Until I saw the stranger that was you
Whatever happened to our innocence
And the somethin' that you said 'bout being friends
Tell me how
Help me say the words out loud
Could it be
That nothing's gonna change'
Cause time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had
):
i dont want us to fall apart. it's hard playing the tough girl every single time, scolding cursing and bullying. im sorry not living up to your expectations? where's the girl that used to score anymore eh? asking yourself that every single day, what's wrong with her? you asked, "what's wrong jacq? what's wrong? what havent you been happy for so long? daddy dont seem to see you happy anymore." i just shook my head and walked off. im sorry, just sorry. i cant control myself, my emotions, everything. sorry. i know you care. i dont know how i can help. i dont know how to show you that i love you too, i care for you. im scared of you, i dont know why.
):
i know you guys are there for me, thanks. but even with you around, i cant bare my heart. i know you guys will judge. im sick of everything. i hate people comparing and judging me. it sucks. i dont deny your judgements arent made to make me change. just, sorry. not now, not soon. i love all of you.
):
i dont want to cry. i wish time would just turn back. i'd do anything to be happy again.
):
):
I didn't cry the day you moved away
Didn't think that I would feel this pain
Until I saw the stranger that was you
Whatever happened to our innocence
And the somethin' that you said 'bout being friends
Tell me how
Help me say the words out loud
Could it be
That nothing's gonna change'
Cause time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had
):
i dont want us to fall apart. it's hard playing the tough girl every single time, scolding cursing and bullying. im sorry not living up to your expectations? where's the girl that used to score anymore eh? asking yourself that every single day, what's wrong with her? you asked, "what's wrong jacq? what's wrong? what havent you been happy for so long? daddy dont seem to see you happy anymore." i just shook my head and walked off. im sorry, just sorry. i cant control myself, my emotions, everything. sorry. i know you care. i dont know how i can help. i dont know how to show you that i love you too, i care for you. im scared of you, i dont know why.
):
i know you guys are there for me, thanks. but even with you around, i cant bare my heart. i know you guys will judge. im sick of everything. i hate people comparing and judging me. it sucks. i dont deny your judgements arent made to make me change. just, sorry. not now, not soon. i love all of you.
):
i dont want to cry. i wish time would just turn back. i'd do anything to be happy again.
):
posted by Jacquetta at
8:20 AM
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