What is wrong with everyfuckingbody and everyfuckingthing. i got caught in the damn rain this morning and i've forgotten to bring my wallet to school and fucking annoying poodie-imitation gave me 4 miserable days of pc and i got a new zit.. Life sucks so much I almost feel sorry for myself zzzzz _l_

almost.
____________________________

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What the fucking hell do you want you fucking fuck. havent mum gave you enough alrdy. 10 fucking years, you lived off us. you took away my room. you took away my dresser, my shelves, my bed. fuck you. how many times have you cause my parents to quarrel cos of your fucking attitude thinking this house is yours and you NEVER EVER contribute to anything to it before we got a maid? mum have to spend her days off from work cleaning the whole entire huge fucking house including "your" room. and what do you do there? slump your fucking lumpy body onto the sofa with your fucking legs on the table while mum slogged over all the housework. when dad scolds you you'll go fucking to mum and in the end, she will get caught between and they'll quarrel. fabulous that your husband left you for another woman cos im sure he cant stand you and your fucking attitude. amazes me why he can stand living with you for 7 years. then again, i've been FORCED to live w you for 10 years already, and counting. when i was young you'll boss me around and i got no choice but to obey. everytime i see your fucking face my mood will get all fucked up cos of you. always boast about your fucking small amount of wealth. i fyou got your fucking wealth then get your fucking ass back to your own fucking small apartment. your fucking small amount of wealth if you call it is NOTHING compared to what dad earns.
STOP FUCKING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE AND GET THE SHIT OUTTA HERE. FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING BITCH.

I'm the one who really loves you baby
I've been knocking at your door
As long as I'm living, I'll be waiting
As long as I'm breathing, I'll be there
Whenever you call me, I'll be waiting
Whenever you need me, I'll be there

I've seen you cry
Into the night
I feel your pain
Can I make it right
I realized there's no end inside
Yet still I'll wait
For you to see the light

I'm the one who really loves you baby.

Shitload of problems now. Fucking hell.

I did what I could, I dont know what else it would take for everything to go back to normal. I know this sounds cliche but I'm sure everything will work out fine if we just talk. This is the first time our tempers got the better of both of us and even though I've apologised, you dont seem to accept it. But just to let you know, whenever you're ready, I already am.

You dont want it. Cos it brings back past memories which you dont want to be reminded of now. You know how fucked that was? I feel so stupid, thinking that you would be glad to have another one since you've been complaining that the old one has spoilt. I've completely embarassed myself. Yepp, so I've made myself the clown and fool again.

I dont know what the hell is wrong with you nowadays. Even if I'm not at fault, you'll scold me. I only asked you if it's okay to have to same thing again and you yelled and me. I thought you'll be okay after you're preoccupied with work but no, you seem to get even more easily aggitated. A happy occasion for all of us will always be ruined by the black look you have practically plastered on your face 24/7. We're all trying to accomodate you, even your other half with the nastiest temper has been giving in to you continuously. You're stressed up, we know. We're trying to make it better for you. But you're neither appreciating nor acknowledging it and try to change yourself.

I know you meant well asking me how I am and stuff. But it's just not now y'know? I know how long it has been since. I just cant forget the past ok? Yes, I'm stubborn and stupid because I hang on to something that's tearing me apart on the inside. But I'm just not ready now, or ever, for that matter. It's just, weird? We were sort-of one before but it doesnt feel like it is. Whatever the case is, I'm really thankful for your concern and yes, I know you'll always be there when I need you.

And you, what's your damn problem?! Why must you cry infront of the people who actually give a damn about you after seeing the person you swore not to cry over anymore? Your brave front is crumbling away like sand. After so long, after acting nonchalant about the whole fucking thing, you're letting everyone see the disgustingly weak and pathetic you. I'm fucking disappointed in you.

I want!!!!!!

You're born and I can hold you any time I like. All I have to do is close my eyes.

You light, the skies up above me
A star, so bright you blind me
Don't close your eyes
Don't fade away
Don't fade away

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl, we can rule the world
Yeah you and me we can light up the sky
If you stay by my side, we can rule the world.

If walls, break down, I will come for you
If angels cry, oh I'll be there for you
You've saved my soul
Don't leave me now
Don't leave me now

All the stars are coming out tonight
They're lighting up the sky tonight

Singapore Poly-ed today. I still prefer Temasek though.
Went shopping after that. Bought bags, watches, tees and shoes.
And I can finally say bye to another week's worth of whining from Mandy.

Didnt take pictures today.
Bet I just whetted everyone's appetite.

Made by Mahavira!

___________________________________________________

Hmm.

Poodie, anyone?

I got a star.
Eat that, bitch.
Hah.

I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you

______________________

Get your Australian ass here again soon okeh, you!
You still owe me my treat. [[:

damn it, the cake mix wouldnt come off my starbucks shirt. and it's only the 3rd time i wore it. FUCK _l_

A very very very cute dog that ran in halfway while we (me and Mandy) were baking. Carried it and went looking for its owner and finally found the house on the 16th floor. bet it got attracted by the aroma that it squeezed through the gates and ran up one level to find us, and it smells so good! it's so adorable that even Mandy took a picture with it. i got my first kiss with a dog when it licked me on the lips.

hah.

and fuck it, i look like an obasan in the picture. _l_

Today marks the most meaningful day of my life.
Missionary seminar really really brought a turning point in my life.
So gonna treasure my friends and family now.
No point brooding about the past, what's gone is gone. maybe i'll get it back, maybe not. who knows? time will tell.

this post is getting so effing cliche.
shall end here.

PSPSPSPSPSPSPSPS:
Mr Raji[?] IS EFFING HOT,
and he's gonna become a priest. *wails*

Get well soon! [: